Today's summer blog challenge was to post a picture of me smiling. I decided to choose this one of us on Mother's Day this year. We had Evangeline blessed at church that day, and I love our family pictures we took that day. Nothing makes me happier than my family. There are 3 other pictures I could have included, the first would be from my wedding day, but I don't have digital copies of those pictures. The second was from the day after Tabitha was born. I don't have any from the day she was born because the hospital wouldn't let me see her for 3 hours, and by the time I could see her, we were all so exhausted that we did't get any pictures. But when I look at those pictures, I don't think about the incredibly aweful birth experience, I think about the first time I held her. How every bad thing that had happened led to the amazing little girl in my arms. The first time I held her, I knew that the almost 5 years of infertility, the tests, PCOS, pills that made me sick and all the rest of it, was so much more than worth it.
The third picture is a picture of the first time I held Evangeline. Evangeline's birth was so much different than Tabitha's. It was a planed c-section rather than an emergency like Tabitha's. I was able to hold Evangeline very soon after her birth. Rather than being so drugged up that I could barely see, I was totally in the moment. I remember every bit of her birth and even though it wasn't the Vbac that I had hoped for, (because my girl is stubborn and wouldn't turn) it was perfect. We were both healthy and she was amazing. Just like her big sister, Evangeline was a piece of my heart that I didn't know was missing.